At the very least, I can’t say I’m not learning.

Each day seems to bring some new type of life lesson to my attention, a new way to approach old situations and new ones, a new dream fluttering along in the distance to grab a hold of.

It’s funny how our mood swings change so much from day to day—how I can be on the edge of extreme happiness, then next moment laying in my bed with dread, then recovering the next morning and after that—just at peace.

If any one else can explain this better… I would gladly hear your answer. I’m trying to be better, smarter, more caring yet more defended.

Let’s see what I can learn next.

Lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon—after an exciting morning visit to the White House (see: CCinDC). Lots of things have happened recently, a lot of it fast, and I start to wonder if I do better with girls when I’m really upset over other things. It’s almost kind of funny. If it wasn’t me.

Per usual, I’m balancing my ego, personality and expectations on a scale. Tip in one direction too much and I feel vulnerable, the other direction leaves me feeling heartless. Sometimes I feel like I’m juggling a few different aspects of my persona at the same time. Like my friend Will said, “Be patient.”

For tonight: a little less drinking and more R&R. Coldplay will be on SNL with Emma Stone—so I’ll be watching that. Maybe grab some hot chocolate and watch it?

I’m not sure what exactly I did wrong. But yesterday went from being awesome to not very good. In about four hours. Soon as I stepped out of work, everything just went way down hill in all aspects of my life. In fact, I spent my Thursday night lying in bed talking to a best friend from school and working a lot of different issues out for myself.

Feeling a bit better today, but how come things are so confusing?

Do I do this to myself?

Or am I just too naive.

Ugh.